Universally United

The beauty of being Catholic... well that is a topic that can and has filled volumes of works. I however am ecstatic over the simple beauties.

For instance: I just walked into the seminary library and sat down at a desk and realized that I was surrounded by CFRs (Franciscan Friars of the Renewal)! I wasn't even phased, but I am writing this post with holy and pious CFR novices (I think) around me. Do you know that there are Catholics all around the world? Do you know that Catholic actually means universal? Well being catholic connects us to a whole world of people!

So if you ever feel lonely because no one else is taking their faith seriously, just remember, you may walk into a library one day and see a bunch of friars, or nuns, or priests!  All over the world people do as you do. So don't feel lonely you are a part of the one true universal church! Rejoice you're not alone!

God Love you,

AMDG
Peter James d`Aquino

Healthy outlets

Music is one of my outlets. Without the ability to express myself through music I would go crazy. I also  enjoy writing poetry every once in a while. I get that not everyone is artistic or musically inclined. That is fine, I don't think that matters. What matters is  finding a healthy way to express your emotions.

I tend to go on a tirade against the popular opinion on emotions. I have this theory that the greatest modern heresy is "emotionalism". That, as far as I know, is not a real heresy but I say it is. Emotions are real and they are powerful, but they should not be the impetus of our actions.

But in order to live a life in which we don't allow ourselves to be dictated by our feelings, we need to have a healthy way of expressing what is inside us. I have music,  poetry, and athletics. A lot of people use alcohol and drugs as a means of dealing with their emotions, and that is not healthy. So find a way to express your emotions healthily and in that way you will find it much easier to come to God in prayer.

I plan on writing an essay on what I call emotionalism. It is something I have very strong opinions on. I'll share some of it with you guys. So look out for that!

God Love you,

AMDG
Peter James d`Aquino

We're All Fighting A Battle

Always, always, always show more kindness then seems necessary. In everything you do, be kind and show love. No matter who it is your dealing with, be kind. Whether it be a man who cut you off and cursed you out or a rude woman at the supermarket, show them compassion and love. It could be the last crack until they break. I'm talking about breaking their cranky shell and transforming themselves into a kind person who shows love to everyone. Maybe he won't cut off the next person going too slow. Maybe she'll help you reach the cereal off the top shelf at the supermarket. You really never know.

Along the same lines, you must respect everyone. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting their own battle.". This quote inspired me to write this post. You truly never know what someone is going through. You were just walking down your block and said hi to your neighbor. He completely ignores you as he walks into his car. You automatically judge him and say to yourself how rude he is. Lo and behold, your neighbor just received a phone call saying his sister got into a major car accident with a drunk driver and he's getting in his car to go see her. Makes you view things differently, huh?

Now... that drunk driver. What a heartless little stupid man. No. He's not stupid. He just made a stupid decision...regardless, it was a really, really stupid decision that no one should ever make. But you know what? Maybe he just found out that his sister and brother were shot and killed in their hometown. His only way out was to go out drinking to get drunk. Due to this, he drove drunk and cost somebody their life. In no way am I condoning this reason to drive drunk, I just want to help you view things differently.

Just remember, the next time you're forming an opinion about someone, show more kindness and love than necessary. You never know the struggle that person is going through. I promise you he or she is fighting some kind of battle.

God Bless,
The Heart You Set Free

Quite the feeling

So I am experiencing this really weird sensation. I am on a roller coaster of emotion and trying to just keep it together. One minute I think I am just going to take off and find a bar, the next I wouldn’t leave where I am for a million dollars. I hope this isn’t the lasting seminary affect! The really weird part though is my seemingly conflicting attitude towards this place. I have rarely felt so at peace but I can’t remember ever feeling more uncomfortable.

 That’s tough to understand. I find the sensation annoying. I want one finite opinion off my position. I started to think a little bit and I think I am starting to get it.

 If you ever make it to heaven, I like to think it might be a similar sensation. Staring at the face of God, I would assume that you will find perfect peace, but how can one be completely comfortable in front of an all powerful being? I am not describing a runaway type of fear, rather I am talking about this awe inspiring awareness of what it is you are facing. So perhaps living across the hall from the Blessed Sacrament has given me this notion, this feeling.

Finding God isn’t always comfortable but it can be peaceful. Not peace in the sense of ease and quite, but peace in the sense of fulfillment and belonging.

So maybe it’s just one feeling I am experiencing there just isn’t a word to describe it. I am not quite sure if I want it to stay or leave me just yet, but it is enlightening.

Just thought I would share that with you guys.

God Love you,

AMDG
Peter James d`Aquino

Whisper of the heart #2

Oh how I love my Lord,

He nourishes my soul with his 

Sweet grace,

He kindles my heart 

With the fire of his love.

I am deeply saddened at my inability 

To love him as I should.

For I am inconstant, selfish, and indifferent 

To Him.

Though his mercy and faithfulness be like honey,

 I have turned to evil, which is

Poison to my soul and hurtful to the

Heart of my Savior.

Oh my loving Savior, how you cry for me;

Your tears, like precious pearls,

Purchase the love of my heart.

How foolish I am to fall from your love;

How foolish I am to belief 

deceit over the truth you have revealed

To me. 

Though I shall fall I will rise to love again;

Though I will sin,

I will have hope in your saving grace.

You hold my soul as it swings 

Within your arms. 

It rests in a deep and uninterrupted sleep

Because it knows that your 

Love will protect it from 

Anything that looks to harm it. 

Sleep my soul,

Sleep peacefully in the arms of the Lord.

Dream of the moment when you 

Will finally meet Him face to face;

Yes, dream that wonderful dream.

My Lord and Savior shall be

At the fore front of my mind;

My only desire.

Sadly though, I think

And do things contrary to his will,

My vain pleasure taking your throne

Within my heart.

With your grace I will cast 

Out such imaginations and inclinations.

There will be no place for them; 

 No response will be

Given at there first knock on the

Door of my soul.

Make me steadfast oh Lord, 

 It is your Love and Mercy I Seek.

May I be your bondslave of Love, 

And Let nothing severe me from you,

But give me every opportunity to 

Grow in love with you.

The Farmer's bird

               I want to share a story with you about why God had to come down to earth as a man

                There was once a good man, an honest fellow that worked the land on his farm. He followed the teachings of his church but never understood why an all-powerful God had to come down as a human to teach us what to do. One day the man found himself alone, his children and wife being out at some social event. The man said he would rather stay home and work; later that night, having completed his work and being home alone, went for a walk around his property to make sure everything was in order. As he walked he came upon a group of six small birds, too young or injured to fly. “I cannot let you all just die here in the snow, you are so precious and week I shall help you in your pain, but how?  I know I shall make a special place for you in my barn where you will be warm and safe.” Working quickly, the man did just that. Then he went to go get the birds into the barn. First he tried to catch the birds with his hands and convince them to enter with his voice. However, the birds cowered at his voice and ran from his strong hands. Frustrated, the man tried to scare the birds into the barn. They became scattered then, some being about the same distance from the barn while others were now farther or closer “this isn’t working for it is no way to earn their trust I know I shall try and sweeten the path to safety.”  Next the man trailed the way to the barn with food, but they simply took the food and then left the path to safety. Finally the man cried out “if only I could speak to them! Or better yet become one of them! If for the sole reason as to tell them that the warmth and safety of the barn is so close through the cold and darkness!” the man then fell on his knees, he understood now.

You see God’s plan was brilliant. In the Old Testament he tried the other methods. He tried doing big things (voices in the sky, burning bushes, and the giving of land or children) he tried to use his hands and voice to get us into heaven. God also tried more harsh methods to try and “scare” us into safety with his awesome majesty and power (he displayed his power at Sodom and Gomorrah as well as with the plagues upon Egypt). In the end however, God decided that is was best to come down and teach us the way himself. So he came down and showed us the ultimate sign of love, the cross, and taught us the way to safety. He Became ONE OF US, so that he could talk to us as one of us, so we could really trust him. I guess his theory was kind of like the old saying “Monkey see, Monkey Do.”

The Cross above my bed.......

I am packing up my belongings today. Why, you may ask? Well I am moving tomorrow. The time has come to move into the seminary to begin the year’s formation.

So I am going through my stuff: going through my clothes, my desk, my  pictures, my safe, my books: and the first thing I did was take my icons off the wall. The religious articles on my wall are rather large and the wise thing to do is pack them first. So I looked at them and saw the nice crucifix which I have over my bed. I only put it up within the last year or so. Now to make a really long story short, I only began to take my faith seriously about two or three years ago, but I never had a crucifix in my room. Not until I came across a really beautiful and simple one in a small nice shop in Madrid last summer. I got home and put it right over my bed so I could look up every night and see my only hope at salvation hanging from the redeeming cross.

I think that is sort of symbolic of my life. The cross was the last thing I put up in my room. Though it wasn’t in my room first, the cross had become the most important thing in my life. Actually it was always the most important thing, but I failed to realize that. I failed to put the Lord at the helm of my life, as I failed to display the depiction of his sacrifice in my room. I have tended to neglect the most important things, but now I have my priorities in order. I neglected God, and I am sorry for that. Now that I know what I know, I never want to feel as if I am putting anything before God.

So back to the story… I was looking at my icons and my cross, and I decided, “the cross is going to stay up, yes it will be easier to pack my cross now, but I am leaving it up.” My faith may not always have been first in my life but it certainly is now. I just don’t like the way my room would look without the cross in it. How did I ever live without the crucifix above my bed? It may have been the last thing in my room, and symbolically in my life, but it is absolutely going to be the last thing to leave that room, and it is never leaving my life.

Put God first. Whether it be spiritually or physically, it is vital to put God first. I place the image of His redeeming sacrifice at the high point of my room, but what I am saying with that act is the important thing. I do and always will place Christ as the most important part of my life, of who I am.

I open my car with the key….

I have to say, though I have suffered in many ways, I have been extremely blessed.

A couple of months back I was given a car for free! The car is in great condition and drives like a champ. The car came with two sets of keys and one car beeper thing (you know the thing that lets you open the car from like 50 yards away). I however refuse to use the beeper; I only open my car with the key. Why? Perhaps it’s my nostalgic side; I grew up with cars before those beeper things were sold with every car. I always liked the idea of opening the driver’s side door, and reaching over to open the passenger door. It is A Bronx Tale thing, (see the movie!). But there is something more to it. I wanted to work just a little. I thought it seemed just too easy to press a button and drive. And to be fare, most things I have I didn’t earn, most things just come to me.

Look at the evidence. I got through Catholic high school in an all honors program in the top 7% of the class without opening a book in four years. I took the SATs once, I will not tell you my score, but it was solid. I was accepted into a University and they are actually going to be paying me to attend their institution. I got a car for free. I just got a free Mac book pro. I can play musical instruments. Last week I sat down at a piano for the second time and I even impressed myself. I have written for several amazing people and papers/internet services. I have traveled through Europe. To be honest I could go on and on and on. I don’t mean to sound vain, but I want you to see why I am upset, that is the reason I don’t deserve these things.

I visited the university I will be studying at for the first time today and was give a tour by a professor who is a close friend of the family (leave it to me to pick a school without visiting). It was here that I was given my free laptop. But in order to get it, they asked me to sit through what was really a pointless 45 minute informational meeting. I was sitting in there and I got annoyed. I opened my brand new Mac (I am actually a PC guy but I want to expand my horizons, plus it was free) and went on Facebook. At one point I just looked at this really expensive piece of mechanical geniuses which is intended to make my life not only easier but luxurious, and I thought, “Wow, I don’t deserve this.” I don’t think I ever really deserved anything I have received, and trust me I have endured a lot of suffering and trials, but still I did nothing to deserve all the things I have.

So to try and give back, I open my car with the key. I guess it’s a pretty stupid concept. I just feel horrible for having so much and having done so little. I try and make some things a bit more difficult. It isn’t even difficult; it just takes 5 more seconds. Think about it, we get annoyed when we wait more than 3 seconds for something to load, and that stuff is beaming into outer space, beaming of a satellite and coming down t o our phones! (My Lord, what if it took 4 seconds). Things have become so easy for us as a people that we neglect the worthiness of trials. That’s one reason why when we encounter difficult times, we fail so much.

I don’t deserve what I have received, and still I tend to take what I have for granted. Yet I don’t let that bother me too much. I mean, if I am getting these wonderful gifts, there must be a use for them down the road. One day, I will be able to repay (at least to some extent) the gifts I have received. I will do my best with what I have. To those whom more is given, more is expected. Well don’t blame me when I mess up I didn’t ask for this life, but I will give it all I got. For the greater glory of God.

God Love you,

AMDG
Peter James d`Aquino

oh no not... VOCATIONS!!! (yes a bit on vocations!)

When people talk about vocations, a lot of us start to squirm. “Here we go again!” that’s something that always used to come to my mind. I always used to feel as if the church was doing everything they could to recruit me and I got a little annoyed. I mean really just give it a rest. Well I lost; I am currently studying philosophy at the local seminary. God willing one day I will be a priest. How did I get here? That is a really long story I hope to tell you one day, but I want to talk to you about something else today. 

 Why is it worth thinking about your vocation now?

Yes when we use the word vocation we are usually referring to the call to priesthood and religious life, but it includes marriage and even single life. So when I use the word vocation, don’t take it as “oh this guy is trying to make me become a nun/brother/priest,” although I would love it if you did.

It is never too early to start thinking about what God wants from you! That’s all a vocation is guys… what God wants you to do with your life. God does want us all to be saints… that is what we call the common call to holiness... but God also wants each of us to live out a specific mission throughout our lives within the encompassing mission of Christ. So we kind of owe it to our all loving and all merciful God who is the cause for our life. How can you openly ignore the God who created you? I do it quite often actually, it’s called sin, but I don’t want to ignore God. I want to love and serve my Creator. The best way to do that is by honoring His wishes for me. So every day, if I do really believe that, it is my duty to pray, “God what do you want me to do?” It is not easy listening for a response but one always comes. I remember praying the most dangerous and most important prayer a person needs to pray, “whatever you want Lord, I am Yours,” and since the day  I said those words for the first time I have daily prayed “O` God, make me an instrument of Your will!”

It is important you ask what God wants. The alternative is a selfish existence. That may sound harsh but it is true. Either God exists and is your creator in which case you owe Him everything you are and will be, or there is no God.  I am telling you there is a God and to ignore His will for you makes you selfish.  You may be scared, and it will be difficult at times, but it is the right thing to do. I didn’t always want to accept it; in fact I can be a selfish brat at times. I still struggle with submitting to the will of God, but the effort is what matters and day by day it gets easier.

 Render unto God what is God’s! Your Creator is asking something of you, and to me it seems like a small thing to offer Him your service in thanksgiving for your life. I am not saying go out right now and buy an engagement ring or enter a convent; merely pose the question, “what does God want for me?” That, my friends, is what discernment is all about, that is your vocation. The rest comes later, priesthood or married life, sister or wife? These aren’t always easy choices, but why should that deter you.  

One more thing, don’t fear unhappiness. Listen, I know those are concerns you have, “will I be happy?” But how could your all loving creator ever lead you into unhappiness. You will struggle and suffer, but that is unavoidable. I guarantee you that what God wants of you is the best way for you to find happiness, fulfillment, and true joy. The difficulties will be worth it. God loves you, the question is… will you love Him?

God Love you,

AMDG

Peter James d`Aquino

The Longing For A Friend

Have you ever felt lonely? You may think you're a freak who can't keep a close friend and this hurts, I know the feeling.  I recently lost all of my best friends.  One best friend I had for about two years suddenly acted like she didn't know me anymore.  My other best friend was like a sister to me my entire life.  She just told me how much she hates me.  Something I get a lot is that I'm judgmental and think I'm better than everyone else.  This hurts me so much. 


I know the only One I will ever need is God.  Do you think Jesus had a best friend? You can't call someone who denies you three times your best friend, that's for sure.  It's hard, because you can't see God and He can't be there to give you a big hug at night when you're in bed crying. However, He offers us so much more than a hug.  He is there to talk to us whenever we want to talk to Him, whether it is important or completely irrelevant.  No matter how far you have run away from Him, all you have to do is turn around to Him and ask for forgiveness. He will never ever deny you're His best friend. Ever.  He wont ever judge you for anything and no matter what you do, He will love you more than anyone else in this world could ever love you.  He will never not want to talk to you or not be your friend. 


Truthfully, I don't know if I should even be writing this post.  I'm not totally comfortable with not having a best friend yet. I pray to make myself more comfortable with this.  I just want someone to tell all my problems, all my insecurities, all of the moments I'm proud of, and all of my grievances to.  I do have someone.  I have God, I just need to get used to how great of a best friend He is to have and how much less lonely I am when I talk to Him.

-The Heart You Set Free

Taste the Goodness of the Lord

On many occasions when I feel like the day is not going well,I just open up scripture and read the gospels. As I read my soul feels as though it is being fed the grace of God with every word read. It is as if i am being filled with spiritual food. It reinvigorates my soul granting me zeal and faith in the Lord that before that point wouldn’t have been imaginable. It sometimes feels akin to the times when I was a child and my mother would feed me. If i allow my mother to feed me instead of resisting I qon’t have a hard time, but if I resist i become grumpy and irritable. So it is with reading scripture or any spiritual book. On a bad day reading scripture doesn’t sound like a great idea; in fact when you start to read it may even feel like a burden, but on those bad days reading scripture might just be the one thing that will help you.

On our bad days, being consistent in our prayers or, if you don’t pray much, deciding to pray can really help build your spiritual strength and zeal. Your soul is affected by the state of your body, whether you be sick, moody, decisive, etc. On day like these our soul needs help which transcends the feeling of our body. Sometimes we forget the need for spiritual food, going days on end without actually spending time with God in prayer or meditation, and when the bad days come we wallow in our sorrows and end up lacking the hope, faith, and divine wisdom needed to go through our trials. This is the time when God, in his infinite wisdom, chooses to grow quiet and work in our souls, planting grace and sprouting want for Him and holiness.

When you despair or grew weary read the word of God because though your body may be weak, that doesn’t mean you soul has to as well.

“Watch and pray that you will

not fall into temptation.

The spirit is willing, but

the body is weak”

(Mark 14:38)

"Something Real"... the youthful loning for truth

So much of life is characterized by a searching; a longing to find what is missing. The things we are seeking are what we believe can make us feel whole. The pursuit of the youth is so often the need for “something real”. That has become sort of a cliché in the last 40 years or so. Particularly teenagers who are not happy with settling constantly have claimed the need for “something real”. That phrase has begun to take on some negative connotations, especially amongst the aged.

I myself have said that I have a need for something real, something honest, something true, and something authentic. I think the young have some embedded sense of those being “fake”. We can always tell when someone isn’t being “real”; when they are simply putting on a mask or some constructed persona. We criticize these people only to find ourselves doing the same things in different ways.

I could never stand the absolute lie that so many people live. It used to make me incapable of really dealing with anybody, but I also became fed up with my own hypocrisy.  The need for something “real” is, I would say, a great gift to youth. In a time where people are growing physically and mentally, it is vital that we have a deep desire to search for that which is not just another fabrication, and that extends to our experiences with others. Thus we have an inherent desire to encounter the authentic reality of the human condition, the real tribulations of the soul… though we often want to experience them second hand. Again this is a good thing, for what we are searching for can be found.

It is important to understand the desire or the search which is natural to humanity and has such a prominent presence in the youth of the world. When we say we are looking for “something real” we are saying that we need to not be lied to. We need to discover for ourselves the origins, the beginnings of our existence. The pursuit is one for the truth, and that is what authenticity really is. The truth is what we need; the truth is what we seek. Truth is reality and that is the natural need with which we are created.  In this world today we encounter many lies and many human fabrications, and that is why we feel an even greater desire for that which is “real”. Because the world is hostile to the existence of a truth, we feel an even greater need to find it.

 So here is what this means for us… if we are looking for the truth, for “something real” then what we are looking for cannot be found in any of our peers nor friends. What we need is only satisfied by the Way, the Truth and the Life. That is Christ. If you have come to that understanding already great! If not, then understand what you seek you will not find in friends and family (though they can help you find it), but only in the ultimate truth of existence, and thus the ultimate truth of meaning. And that, my friends, is the question, and the answer is Christ, all things in Him are real. People cannot be entirely genuine because of imperfection, and so the only hope for truth is in the Ultimate God, in Christ. So if you find yourself encountering that need, that longing, look for the whole truth, look for God.

God Love you,

AMDG
Peter James d`Aquino

The Power of Rosary

The Rosary has long been a symbol of devotion Our Lady.  It is one of the more perfect forms of prayer.  It is easy to start saying the rosary and hard to stop once you say it for a while.  But we don’t say the rosary just for the Hell of it. It has a purpose, to praise God. Because when we show respect and venerate Our Lady, God will smile upon that. He loves how the Mother of His Only Son is so respected and venerated.

I love saying the Rosary. For me it is not only a devotional prayer, but also a mental prayer. Praying the rosary is supposed to help you mediate on the life of Christ. As you go through each decade, saying the Hail Mary helps you to concentrate on what you are supposed to be thinking of. It is not just supposed to be repetitions of prayers; rather the repetitions help you to focus on your mediation.  And this how the rosary is supposed to be said. Our Lords intention was it to help us understand his Son’s life.

Mary has stressed the importance of the Rosary in many of her appearances. She tells us of the power that the rosary has. It is one of the Devil’s worst nightmares. It is the perfect weapon against temptation. It also is a good way to ask God for prayers. Mary is always willing to petition God for our request.  I believe the Our Lady does beg the Lord for us in all our petitions. But also I believe when a pray is not answered it’s a good thing! Even if the prayer is something urgent and your pray really hard, its not part of God’s while. Whenever my prayers aren’t answered the way I want them to be, I gain confidence that what is happening, even if it may be bad, it part of how God wants it to be. 

 AMDG

Peter Martin

Whisper of the heart #1

“In the depths of my soul I feel void of your grace, 

and it is akin to a barren field,

 lacking fruit and deficient of water and seed. 

Surely your eyes beg to be turned away 

From my wasted and disfigured soul. 

I would think that you would not want to help me

Because  of the many times I have betrayed your

Mercy and love.

But no, your love goes beyond my sins, 

You are not shallow like I am.

You show me mercy and love because I am a sinner,

And you bring me back home to 

Our loving Father.”

- Whisper of a Heart #1

I think that we have all somewhat been at that point. The point were we want Jesus but feel that we are to sinful to be accepted by him. We forget that his love for us is completely independent of what we do and is geared toward were he wants us to be, in heaven.

In the “Whisper” we find that at the end, the heart comes to realize that the love of Jesus looks beyond the sin to the heart of the sinner. Sadly some do not see it so clearly. I know that for me, I tend to be at times dour when praying or meditating, often recollecting more on how sinful I am, than on the mercy and love of God. Don’t get me wrong, it is healthy for the soul to have remorse for sins committed, but it is not healthy to dwell on them to the point were you think God can’t forgive you. To say that God won’t accept you is to say that you have done an unforgivable sin, which I think we can all agree we have not done. We are redeemed by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ, and his love is greater than any of our sins.

“Though your sins be as red as scarlet, 

They shall be as white as snow,

Though they are red as crimson, 

They shall be like wool”

- Isaiah 1:18

So go to him and be ashamed of your sin, but embrace and be unafraid of the love of your God. Be repentant of your transgressions, and remember God that will forgive you always. Heaven rejoices over such penance.

I tell you,

 there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents

 than over ninety-nine righteous persons 

who need no repentance.

- Luke15:7

May God Bless You,

Alfonse Amante de Dios 

On DOUBT

I think one thing every person struggles with in life is doubt. Everyone encounters doubt with everything, think about it. When making decisions, we ask ourselves “is this right,” or something similar, well that simple act is proof that doubt is at some point unavoidable. Yes we cannot avoid doubt. I say that is a good thing, I say it is a good thing that you doubt. If you are wise, you should be saying right now, “but didn’t Jesus chastise those of little faith, didn’t Thomas the doubter get rebuked for his doubt?” Here it is important for us to look at doubt.

Most would say that doubt is a lack of faith, which is not entirely wrong but there is more to doubt. Doubt is like temptation, it is unavoidable, and natural to humanity. Doubt is a questioning, an inquisitiveness.  Like temptation, doubt will present itself often, and like temptation doubt is not wrong or bad in itself. It is a part of the human condition. According to the Catechism, doubt as a word can refer “to hesitation in believing, difficulty in overcoming objections connected with the faith, or also anxiety aroused by its obscurity” (CCC 2088). That inclination in itself is not a fault, it is absolutely natural. The catechism calls that involuntary doubt. There is also voluntary doubt, which “disregards or refuses to hold as true what God has revealed and the Church proposes for belief” (CCC 2088). This form of doubt is a free choice, it is a denial of the reveled will of God, and therefore it is sin. Doubt is also thus a form of temptation because it can lead to sin, but still it provides us with the opportunity to conquer Satan.

So when encountering doubt, before getting discouraged, ask yourself this, “do I want to believe”, this is not the same as “do I want that which goes along with belief”. If the answer is yes to the first question, then you are encountering a natural struggle with the awe inspiring reality of God and that is OK. Really do not get down on yourself, and odds are if you are reading this the answer is ‘yes’. Now, with that yes will come the difficult and rewarding consequences of that choice, but that is part of the natural doubt and fear you must overcome. The choice not to pursue the faith, the ability to believe, is voluntary doubt, and at that you must question yourself. Though you may be struggling to pray, or act with grace, though you may be struggling with sin and involuntary doubt you are not condemned! If you desire to do better, or if you ever felt inclined to get down on yourself, that means you are doing something right, you are learning! Now stop getting down on yourself, recognize your inevitable struggles with your own imperfection as a consequence of the human condition as result of original sin and get up off the floor and pursue faith! That is all. If you want faith, you will get it, it may not be now, but it will be! Faith awaits those who have the courage to seek it.

I leave you with this: doubt is a hurdle we must all encounter. Some would say if you don’t climb that hurdle immediately after encountering it then you fail. That is wrong, the only failure is to relinquish the obstacle and turn around, or stand still. As long as you are in search of truth, you are in search of the Eternal Good that is God. You will overcome all doubt if you try. Seek to overcome doubt, and you seek faith. Seek faith, seek God.

 If you have a question on doubt, please ask me… feel free to shoot me an email.

 God Love you

AMDG
Peter James d`Aqunio

My Little Way

My favorite Saint is by far Saint Therese Of The Child Jesus. She has been a wonderful inspiration in my life. I can truly say that reading her book The Story of a Soul completely changed my life. I highly recommend it to everyone it is truly amazing. She answered the question that I had be longing for to find, that everyone can be a saint in their own little way. We don’t have to be another Mother Theresa or John Paul II to become saints. We don’t have to do big, impressive things. We can just offer little sacrifices whenever we can. “The Little Way” is what she puts out for people to live, a way of life that can make an ordinary person a saint.

Saint Therese died at the age of 24 from tuberculosis. She was only known to the other cloistered Carmelite nuns that she lived her life with. This little known person would become one of the greatest saints in the 20^th century. Her autobiography would spread throughout the world to various places in different languages. By 1925, about 28 years after her death, she was canonized a saint. Her life was truly beautiful, but at the same time little.

This incredible saint has touched the life of millions of people. Please be one of them and read her book. You will not regret it. To end I would like to offer my favorite quote from her book. This truly sums up the little way: “Jesus does not look so much at the greatness of our actions, or even at their difficulty, as at the love with which we do them”.

AMGD
God Is Love,
Peter Martin

Me being Honest: Why suffering is a gift

Someone I don’t really respect, in fact I really don’t even like him, was once my editor when I was writing for some Catholic outsources. I have this sort of natural style I sort of lean towards when I write: analytical, critical, sharp, intense and some would say arrogant… and I would have to agree. Well this editor started pushing me; he wanted me to write differently. He used to say, “How are you going to touch anyone writing like a piece of wood, if you don’t put yourself in your writing it won’t affect 99% of the people out there, and 100% of people reading this!” I used to get so mad. Why do people care about me? Well it turns out that man was right. I can write volume after volume of purely intellectual works, but what is the point if I am not doing any good with it. Years later, I am still working on it. So now, I want to be honest, plain and sincere. I want to tell you what has really been going on behind the stage curtains of my life. This story is the same reason I took the last week off from blogging. I think the end note will be worth it, I hope you stick with me…this may be long… I hope my honesty can touch you in some way.

This last week was pretty rough for me. To start it off I have been fighting some summer bug that I just can’t get rid of for the last three weeks. I have been having a lot of difficulties with the university I will be studying at this semester. I am no longer friends with the group of people I spent the last four years with. My best friend too is in that group, it just is not good for me to be around her, which of course has not been fun.  I started out the summer looking set financially, well that all fell apart in the last few weeks. I feel like a stranger in my own home; I guess it isn’t really home anymore. My older brother, whom I used to look up to more than anyone, called me a bigot the other day. My parents agree with him but refuse to admit it, which I wish they would. I am supposed to be moving to a place where I don’t feel welcome; it feels as if I am that awkward cousin everyone forgets about. I am lagging far behind on my summer reading and studies. I’ve been working construction for my family, so I am not getting paid. And the other day I was sent this article… not pleasant. In this article, two men I know well and had considered to be pious and holy men are scandalized by actions of theirs. It really made me question a lot of what I have been surrounded by and the people I know. This has just been a tipping point; I am personally fed up with watching all the hope around me fly away.

 Now let me say, I am blest, there are more people out there who have it worse then I then who have it better. I know I am complaining, but I want you to get what is in my head.

 I have been walking around in this sort of haze, not knowing really where I am walking. The last few days were so crazy that I can’t really articulate the whirlwind of emotions I encountered. The only thing I remember is a lot of hopeless nights, a lot of sleepless nights, and a lot of weakness. What should I have done? Prayer seemed unimportant, to be frank. I could not grasp my head around how to handle all this nonsense. I made so many stupid mistakes, it is so obvious. Now I am one of those guys who gets calls in the middle of the night to talk to crying friends about their bad days. I just know how to shut up and listen, which is awesome, and I love being able to help. Lets be honest though, I clearly wasn’t in the best place to be giving advice this week, but the calls didn’t stop. I just pretended everything was fine. Now how did that affect me? Well, I sort of got annoyed… again being honest here. Why do I have to be this kid with this reputation of wisdom beyond his years, a guy who is supposed to know God and can help others find Him, what makes people think I am this really good and holy guy, do they know something I don’t? I never got any of it, but it is what I am asked to do.  I assure you I don’t know anything you don’t. Still there is something in all this. So one night in my bitter despair, I got a message. Basically saying “so we haven’t talked in… wow it’s been a while (what’s your last name again?)… so how are things?... good that’s cool, oh me you know same old stuff… I mean… (Insert drama and pain and suffering). I am not at all putting this down and I am so glad this girl came to me, but that’s just how it sounded in my head. So I am talking to her and just trying to let her vent, listening… then I say something that surprised me… “What a gift that is, how blest you are with graces to have endured such a thing…” yeah I don’t speak like that, or at least I didn’t use to. I am more like you know God is there, I know it’s hard, but it is natural. The whole blest and graces talk was so upbeat! I am so much more laid back then that. It just isn’t my style. So what was that all about? I had to look at myself and figure out why I said that. (Because I don’t just accept anything, I am ultra cynical, even about myself)

 What I found was something I have believed for a while, but something I tend to forget: I am lucky to suffer. No really I may be a little out there but I am sane, I promise. Let me tell you why I believe that.

 I was in high school, and one day a really good friend comes up to me, now she has been looking down for a while and so I wasn’t surprised to hear the shaking in her  voice, but what she said hit me hard. “Hey,---(my name)---, I am getting tested for cancer.”- me “WHAT!(angry)” –“yeah I have been going to the doctor a lot they think it’s cancer,” –“how come you didn’t tell me?” –“I haven’t told anyone” –“when do you get the results” –“two months and I will know for sure” –“that’s ridiculous, two months!(how sensitive right?)” –“yeah I know …” –“are you ok, really…” (here was probably the longest and most incredibly terrifying three seconds of silence in my life) –“I’m really scared…”—“Don’t be, you will be fine, I promise, nothing’s going to happen, it’s all going to be fine…”  I still don’t know why I said that. I probably shouldn’t have what if I turned out to be wrong. My friend just stared at me, I told her to go get lunch, we would talk more later. What I did next is the interesting part.

 Now before I tell you how the story ends I want you to know, I am no great guy, I just love intensely.

 So I left my friend and went straight to this chapel, and I knelt down and prayed harder than I ever had before. Decade after decade, so long that I know I missed a class or two. What was I praying? The same thing over and over again… “God save her; let me suffer instead…” I meant every word of it, and God answered my prayer. My days got harder and more challenging. God took all the things in my life I took for granted, the things I loved were taken. The Lord took from me, leaving my friend to be cleared and proclaimed perfectly healthy within a few months. Doctors were amazed, I wasn’t. Good answered me, I was lucky, no blest to suffer. The great saints talk about suffering as the great way to serve God, and save souls. Perhaps, there is no witness to Christ without suffering. It took threatening someone so important to me to finally get it. Still, there is so much more beauty to suffering (yes I said beauty). That knowledge deep in my being is why so many nights later I would be able to remind someone to be grateful for the strength to endure her suffering.

 On Christmas morning, did you ever come downstairs to see this really big box, and you start unwrapping it and open it to find another box, a bit smaller. You repeat the process again and again until you get to a really small box… at this point you are a little annoyed. Finally you open the last box and in it is the most wonderful and perfect present. For the longest time it seemed like you were being fooled, lied to by those who were supposed to love you. But then you get there and realize that all the waiting and endurance was worth it.  That is suffering… the gift wrapped so deep that it is difficult to distinguish as a gift until the end. I had forgotten that until recently. I lost hope because I lost sight of the purpose to suffering, the reason I begged God for it. I forgot how to love intensely.

 I am sorry I messed up, but hey what can you do but give it another go. Don’t look at these stories as a description of me, but as a look into yourself. Everyone is dealing with their own stuff right now. I get it. It is so hard to put up with all the little things and the big things seem so insurmountable that you might as well just give up. How are you supposed to deal with them, and still keep God in your life, and not only in your life but at the forefront of it? It’s not always an easy thing. Look at me, I failed pretty badly, but I am going to keep going. Hey, it’s not like I don’t still feel the way I have been all week, nothing got easier now that I remembered this. But it seems worth it again. Listen, life is never going to be simple or easy… and love is difficult for humanity because of original sin, but it is worth pursuing, because you all know what it is like to open a box and just feel incredible. That’s what God will do, if you don’t lose sight of Him and push through to the end… you will find everything you ever wanted, because His love is the gift, and suffering is the boxes… you are so close, just don’t lose sight of Him. Don’t give up, try again. Don’t lose hope. Pray for me and I will pray for you. God help us!

God Love you,

AMDG

Peter James d`Aquino

Blessed are the Pure in Heart

Presentation of Jesus in the Temple

Blessed are the Pure in Heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8)

When continuing on the journey to become a spiritual person, it is inevitable that you will come across obstacles like bad habits, impure thoughts, and vices. These plague the soul, but it does not mean that you are necessarily a bad person or that you are becoming a greater sinner. It means that you recognize the impurities that permeate your soul.This is an advantageous moment when you can examine yourself, and slowly, with grace, begin to correct the bad habits that plague your being.

The soul continually needs to be inspected and cleaned so as to make it a suitable dwelling for our Lord to work in. With God’s grace and the Holy Spirit we are able to build upon and maintain our souls, but to do so we must be open to them. We must pray regularly and examine our conscience so that when we see something wrong with our selves, we can use moments of prayer, meditation, and interior examination to, one by one, cleanse ourselves. If there is something like a TV show or activity that you do that prevents you from being Christ- like, it can hinder your soul from reaching a higher pitch of holiness. We sometimes become distracted and even neglectful when we are tied to worldly things. By  disconnecting from electronics or anything that has little value to our souls, we give ourselves more time to spend with God.

To be pure of heart we must rid ourselves of inordinate desires, and make our only desire God and His will. Start out small, because we can’t become new persons overnight unless God wills it. Devote more time to prayer or listen to some Catholic music.The same way the world saturates us so as to make us worldly, so too must we little by little fill our day with holy activities and actions. “If your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light,” (Matthew 6:22) therefore we must also, if we can, make holy images more frequent in our day.

Pray often, praise often, and ask often, open yourself to him and he will surely give to you all that you need.

Here's song you can listen to as well:Brian Doerksen- Purify My Heart

God Bless You,
Alfonse Amante de Dios

The Right Place the Right Time

Something happened to me today, August 1, that was not “part of my plan.” I have been nervous all day about starting a new job in the produce department of a local super market; I was also frustrated because I lacked any inspiration for writing a post that would be put up for today.  Everything I wrote sounded stale and unappealing and, frankly, un-inspired. I feared that I was out of juice and out of commission for writing this week. Now I did something wired instead of panicking about it I simply told myself “God’s will be done, he shall inspire me when he is ready.”

Ok so now here is the wired part, I felt a strong tug to just go to church and pray in the chapel in front of God. So, since I was home alone and planned to be back before anyone got home, I hopped into my car and drove the 2 miles to church. I had some difficulty parking, as usual because I am a new driver, but I got into the spot just fine. I found it odd to see so many cars in the parking lot on a Wednesday. I checked the church and there was no mass going on, as I thought would be the case, so I figured it was some other function and ignored it as none of my business. Now for some strange reason the same force that pulled me to come to church was pulling at me again, telling me to pray in the Respect Life Garden we have. The garden is a tiny thing with maybe half a dozen statues but a large number of flowers and shrubs; I have always found it very pretty and rather peaceful. Now once I got there I sat there trying to pray, unsuccessfully for I couldn’t quiet my mind. Then it started to drizzle and I watched as ants, flying bugs, and a rather flustered looking priest all ran for cover from the rain. Normally I would be one of them but for some reason that I don’t understand I just thanked God for cooling me down a bit and finally I got my mind quieted, and then someone showed up. I wasn’t mad about the intrusion into my prayer time, but sort of stunned that she had done so. I won’t use her name here; I’ll just call her M. So M says to me “I’m sorry if I’m intruding while you don’t want me to but, you’re so good to this parish, reading and EMing at the teen mass, and you look upset are you ok?” well I was startled I told her I was fine, sincerely hoping she would go away, but, she kissed me on the head and gave me a hug then and said “are you sure?” I thought about it a second and said “yes, but I seem to be getting rained on.” M smiled and said “you know what they say about God’s mercy and rain right?” “no?” I said. “God’s mercy in like a gentle summer rain.” She then got up and left.

I got up and thanked God for M and his inspiring her to say that to me. Once she was gone I prayed one of the most bliss-filled rosaries my heart has ever prayed, I thanked God for everything and I was so inspired by his glory. God got me to exactly the right place at exactly the right time just so that M could speak to me and just so that she could get me out of the rut I was in of disconnected prayer. I am having trouble using words to describe how I feel right now, however two very distinct thoughts hit me while I was praying that rosary. The first was that God, and his mother, to whom I am so greatly devoted to, has not abandoned or given up on me; I am forgiven through Christ and I am free to love God.  The second is that M was a child of God and of Mary, just like me, and so he used her to brighten my day. God most certainly is good and his mercy is refreshing and freeing.

For the Greater Glory of God,

Joseph Child of Mary

True Devotion to Mary

You may be wondering what brought as us kids together. We are not just a random assortment of young religious men and women. We were all brought together by Our Lady. We all preformed St. Louis de Montfort’s True Devotion to Mary. It is a wonderful way of expressing your Love for Our Lord through Our Lady.

True Devotion to Mary is not just a prayer you say, it is a way of life. You give yourself totally over to Our Lady as a slave, because being a slave to Mary is the same as being a slave to Jesus. Her will is the will of God. You live a life of giving yourself over to Mary and God. You become a slave to God’s will.

True Devotion to Mary begins with a 33 day preparation period. This is laid out by St. Louis de Montfort in his book True Devotion to Mary. Each week you concentrate on something different about the lifestyle you will be living. Each day contains a set a readings that you can mediate on. They will get you in the mindset of living a life totally devoted to Our Lady.

After the 33 days you make the act of consecration. You should plan that this day to be on a Marian feast such as Our Lady of Lourdes. You should go to confession then to mass. During mass after the Homily is when you make the act. The priest doesn’t have to know you are doing it you can just kneel down at the offertory. We were lucky enough to have an intimate private mass but this is not necessary.

And again this is not just a prayer you say during mass; this is a way of life!  You will renew your consecration every year using the same method all over again. This is something that will stick with you the rest of your life.  You will begin to have a hunger to save souls.  A major part of your True Devotion will become prayer for the conversion of sinners. You can ask Mary to offer up the littlest things for the conversion of souls. She will guide you throughout your life making sure you follow God’s Holy Will

Once you make the consecration you find how Mary can be involved with your religious life. During Holy Communion you offer Jesus to Mary. You ask Mary to receive Jesus for you because you realize you are to unworthy to realize him the way you are. Mary will lend her heart out to you to receive Our Lord. You will soon find that where ever you find Mary you will find Jesus.

Mary is waiting for you. Don’t hesitate to start this process. It will truly change your life!

AMDG

God Is Love

Peter Martin

The Continuous Prayer of the Church, The Divine Office

 Have you ever gone to a Catholic store and seen so many prayers books and couldn’t decide which one you wanted? Why not try and pick up the official prayer book of the Catholic Church? Yes such a thing does exist, it is real and it’s called the Divine Office.

The Divine Office is a set of prayers the all Religious are required to say. It is based on the psalms of the Old Testament.  You will actually say all 150 psalms if you say the office regularly. The Divine Office is split into different “hours” which you will say throughout the day. The Divine Office also corresponds with the mass of that day. So the same prayers you say during the divine office are the same or very similar to the prayers the priests says at mass. And a reading you hear during mass you might read during the Divine Office.

If you pray the Divine Office, then you are praying with the whole Church. This is because all priests, Bishops, consecrated men and woman, deacons, most seminarians (some of which are obligated to say the office) and some lay people are praying the same prayers. You are even praying along with the Pope himself! I personally think that is very cool and goes only with the sense of a universal Catholic Church where all its members can prayer the same prayers. Also the prayers that you say are the prayers that your favorite saints have prayed all those years ago! The divine office or liturgy of the hours is the continuous prayer of the Church. The reason for the obligation is to insure that the Church is constantly praying. The idea is that someone, somewhere in the world, is always praying for the Church and for the surrounding world.”

Also the Divine Office will become part of your life when you start praying it. I’ve found that the day doesn’t feel like it’s started unless I begin with the Divine Office. You can just try and start out slow. You can get the Christian Prayer breviary which is only some of the daily hours and a good place to start out. Once you start it will be hard to stop.

God Is Love,

AMDG

Peter Martin

Forgiveness: The Prisoner That It Really Frees Is You

For my section of the Lux Mundi blog, my goal is to give you one tip of advice per post for you to change your life to live more like Jesus did. In my first post I asked you to greet every person you pass, whether you know them or not, with a warm smile and say hi. In this post, I'm going to ask you for something probably more difficult for us people. Us people as in a people who hold grudges, a people who would much rather hate someone then love them despite their faults. I'm going to ask you to forgive. I don't want you to just forgive others when they apologize for what they've done. I want you to forgive others BEFORE they apologize. Even if they never apologize, I want you to forgive them! It's not healthy for you to be angry. I once read in the book The Five People You Meet in Heaven, "Anger is a curved blade, you only hurt yourself." Your being angry does NOT affect the other person whatsoever, despite popular belief. You're only hurting yourself, because your making yourself a prisoner enslaved by that person's actions. You may think I'm wrong for saying that, but just think about it. When you're holding a grudge against someone... who usually seems more upset? You or the other person? You! There you go, you just proved it to yourself!!

This insight came to me when I was driving in my car one day listening to the KLove radio station (96.7 FM). Matthew West was talking about a new song he wrote. The song is called Forgiveness. He said that a woman named Renee once wrote to him telling a story about her daughter. She wrote that her daughter, Megan, was killed by drunk driver, Eric, at 20 years old. Eric was sentenced to 22 years in jail. Renee lived from then on in bitterness and hatred for Eric. However, Renee was wise. She decided to visit Eric in jail and forgive him for what he had done. Without him ever even saying sorry!! She asked the judge to allow Eric to be released early from jail. Renee wanted Eric to travel the country with her to give talks on drunk driving. Only after personally forgiving Eric, Renee was able to live her life happily. Her forgiveness literally freed Eric from being a prisoner. However, the prisoner that it really freed was Renee. This is a powerful and true story which is proof that sincere forgiveness can be given even for the worst and final of actions.

I can honestly tell you that the past few times my friends or family have wronged me, I sincerely forgave them. It feels good for two reasons. First of all, it feels great to sincerely forgive someone for what they have done, because you know everyone makes mistakes, and you won't be angry anymore. Secondly, it feels even better to just know that you are living more like Jesus did. It's a fulfilling feeling to know that you are doing something Jesus would have done. It's not something simple. Forgiveness is something to be proud of yourself for. Show it off, show off your forgiveness.

"Being Christian means forgiving the inexcusable, because Jesus forgave the inexcusable in you." -C.S. Lewis

-The Heart You Set Free

The Greatness of God's love

Have you ever had someone special, like a mother, father, or grandparent? Have you ever loved them so much that you spent hours planning and preparing some sort of event for them, like a party, a date, or a day out on the town? I have, and on those occasions I want EVERYTHING, every little detail, to be perfect. I also die of embarrassment when something does go wrong or not as I planned, and something normally does because I am imperfect. Now if you’re reading this blog chances are you believe in Jesus Christ, just like me. If you do, then you know God; the almighty, all-powerful, all-knowing creator; became man and died. God loves you so much he was nailed to a cross, and while this one example is the greatest example of them all, we can see God’s love acting today and every day.

While the cross is an amazing example of God’s love, I’d like to show you another that is too often over looked by, well, everyone. It is God’s own will that keeps reality in existence. If God decided that he wanted to start completely over he could just will us all into oblivion, but God is all good and all love so we trust that that will never happen. We humans are a bright bunch, but we don’t know everything about the universe. We can only imagine all the things God has created out there, but God knows where every speck of dust in the universe is at all times, ISN’T THAT INCREADABLE! Stars shine, planets move, and black holes do their thing all because God simply wills it. God has a plan for everything from Galaxies to stars and planets. But that isn’t all; there are things so small we can’t perceive them!!! All the people, plants, and animals on earth, only exist because God loves us and wills our continued existence. But on an even smaller level, every cell in your body does its job, why, because God made them to and commands them. He also has a plan for and controls where every atom in the entirety of existence is, was and will be. God even wills Quarks and other sub-atomic particles into existence, and not only does he will them to exist but with no more effort than a thought he commends them to do as he wills. He controls all these things more seamlessly then the most skilled puppeteer so EVERYTHING falls exactly where and when it is supposed to, exactly the way it is supposed to.

I can't fathom the love he must have....to have fashioned into being everything that exists on the grand scale but not letting a single atom, electron, or even a quark come out of place all simply for love of what He has made. My only challenge this week is to think about that, take ten minutes and just think about how much God loves YOU. Remember God loves each of us individually, he doesn’t just love “the world” or “mankind” he loves YOU in individually. While He loves the world and He loves man kind YOU HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN GOD’S HEART!

--- Joseph Child of Jesus