Something happened to me today, August 1, that was not “part
of my plan.” I have been nervous all day about starting a new job in the
produce department of a local super market; I was also frustrated because I
lacked any inspiration for writing a post that would be put up for today. Everything I wrote sounded stale and
unappealing and, frankly, un-inspired. I feared that I was out of juice and out
of commission for writing this week. Now I did something wired instead of
panicking about it I simply told myself “God’s will be done, he shall inspire
me when he is ready.”
Ok so now here is the wired part, I felt a strong tug to
just go to church and pray in the chapel in front of God. So, since I was home
alone and planned to be back before anyone got home, I hopped into my car and
drove the 2 miles to church. I had some difficulty parking, as usual because I
am a new driver, but I got into the spot just fine. I found it odd to see so
many cars in the parking lot on a Wednesday. I checked the church and there was
no mass going on, as I thought would be the case, so I figured it was some
other function and ignored it as none of my business. Now for some strange
reason the same force that pulled me to come to church was pulling at me again,
telling me to pray in the Respect Life Garden we have. The garden is a tiny
thing with maybe half a dozen statues but a large number of flowers and shrubs;
I have always found it very pretty and rather peaceful. Now once I got there I
sat there trying to pray, unsuccessfully for I couldn’t quiet my mind. Then it
started to drizzle and I watched as ants, flying bugs, and a rather flustered
looking priest all ran for cover from the rain. Normally I would be one of them
but for some reason that I don’t understand I just thanked God for cooling me
down a bit and finally I got my mind quieted, and then someone showed up. I
wasn’t mad about the intrusion into my prayer time, but sort of stunned that
she had done so. I won’t use her name here; I’ll just call her M. So M says to
me “I’m sorry if I’m intruding while you don’t want me to but, you’re so good
to this parish, reading and EMing at the teen mass, and you look upset are you
ok?” well I was startled I told her I was fine, sincerely hoping she would go
away, but, she kissed me on the head and gave me a hug then and said “are you
sure?” I thought about it a second and said “yes, but I seem to be getting
rained on.” M smiled and said “you know what they say about God’s mercy and
rain right?” “no?” I said. “God’s mercy in like a gentle summer rain.” She then
got up and left.
I got up and thanked God for M and his inspiring her to say
that to me. Once she was gone I prayed one of the most bliss-filled rosaries my
heart has ever prayed, I thanked God for everything and I was so inspired by
his glory. God got me to exactly the right place at exactly the right time just
so that M could speak to me and just so that she could get me out of the rut I
was in of disconnected prayer. I am having trouble using words to describe how
I feel right now, however two very distinct thoughts hit me while I was praying
that rosary. The first was that God, and his mother, to whom I am so greatly
devoted to, has not abandoned or given up on me; I am forgiven through Christ
and I am free to love God. The second is
that M was a child of God and of Mary, just like me, and so he used her to
brighten my day. God most certainly is good and his mercy is refreshing and
freeing.
For the Greater Glory of God,
Joseph Child of Mary
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